Today the Washington Blade published an “In Memoriam” for Michael Todd Hodges. His obit will be published in the Post next week.

Todges reluctantly informed me that he was HIV+ while we were dating. In fact, it turned out to be one of the reasons for conflict between us. The conflict was not because of his status, but because we had discussed his status and decided the most responsible thing to do would be to make a doctor’s appointment at Whitman Walker, talk to a doctor and figure what was safe and what was not, get a little more informed, etc. He never made the appointment and I think this is what started driving us apart. In hindsight, I should have made the appointment if he wasn’t going to, but yet I didn’t either.

After speaking with folks this week after hearing of Todges’ passing, one has said the cause was lung cancer/infection and another said throat cancer. Of course it could be a combination of both and not so localized. During these conversations, they would mention “when Todd was sick” or “how long Todd had been sick” and I wasn’t sure if they were speaking of the HIV or the cancer, so I kept mum on his HIV status, because at the time he told me only one other person knew. Maybe this wasn’t the case anymore.

The Blade’s mention states: “Michael Todd Hodges—40, A Creative Director at Gratis Internet, died September 2 of complications from AIDS.” So there you go. Maybe he didn’t keep it such a secret since the time I’d known him. I guess it’s odd to read “complications from AIDS” because you don’t really hear that phrase that much anymore, at least not as much as you did twenty years ago. But it still happens. According to the National Cancer Institute, AIDS-related cancers include Hodgkin disease and cancers of the lung, mouth, cervix, and digestive system.

The funny thing about all of this is the image of Todges that was submitted. Gracefully, it’s in full color, as he would have wanted. And he’s rockin’ a ‘stache. Yes, a moustache. I’m guessing this photo would have be from at least 10 years ago or so, but I don’t remember ‘staches being in vogue at that time. Then again, I had long hippie hair ten years ago, so what do I know? At least he looks good.

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