I’ve been sitting here thinking about sitting here thinking. Everyone is all “oh, this is a great opportunity!” or ” I can’t wait to see what you do next!”. While I very much appreciate these abstract votes of confidence, the truth remains that during unemployment there are still bills to pay. And in order to pay those bills I cannot take a job in a different, wacky field that is going to pay me 1/2 of what I’m used to making. There needs to be a new job starting, like, tomorrow. It’s all economics.

Yes, I would love to become an astronaut or a batik artist but that ain’t gonna put a roof over my head. The savings is going to dwindle faster than I realize and it’s time to do whatever it takes.

In December I paid off a $400-per-month debt obligation and I was looking forward to having that extra cash to enjoy a little bit more and also to pay off other bills. Now that monthly gain is gone, perhaps forever. As I’m trying to find new work, there is nothing available in DC in my field that is going to provide me the same salary that I’m used to, and there’s yet another cut. The monetary gifts given by my Father for Xmas is being translated into a non-gift, as I’m using it to pay rent next month and shore up financial shortcomings.

A scant fifteen days ago I would have thought my worst misery and pain would have come from being 44 and not involved in a relationship, a family that I’m more and more the black sheep of and a failed presence trying to move around this city. Now it’s come down to putting food on the table.

Web searches of jobs in this conversative town reveal nothing available, nothing in Balmer, hon, Philly, Richmond even Pittsburgh. This means I’ll have to turn up being someone’s barrista or someone’s “fries with that?” guy. If I could only win the lottery now, I’d be more than happy to go back to the Carpenter Shelter and cook lunch every day for the residents. That would make me happy.

six toaster ovens and three or four microwaves
heisenberg uncertainty principle
use copper conductors only
marker:1:53:13
are you now or have you ever been?
it is the salty goodness of buttery yumness
winter marches on
!V@nh
bong. 1230020303.003 2008-12-23 08:18:23.003 z
#33250

Today I wake up lots of time late, but enough to finish what I need to do before heading to Union Station for tonight’s train. It’s simple stuff that I want to get done, things that I’d rather not return to tomorrow: dirty dishes, dirty laundry, a full trash can. The chores are simple enough and I’m finished in plenty of time.

There is a 6:03 D6 that will get me there in plenty of time for my 7:00 train. But instead I decide to walk, in order to not have to rely on a bus that might not be on time, therefore raising my stress level. I prefer to travel stress-free, even if it involves the boredom of showing up to the station/airport a little early.

I decide to walk down D St instead of taking the somewhat familiar bus route of C St. The D6 returns down D, but I’m usually taking that at night and I decide that this opposite-direction walk will be more interesting.

The white Scion with the black spoiler and the yellow Mini w/ white roof were parked where they normally are. So was the sun-baked 1979 Mustang Pace Car. What is that huge monstrosity on 12th St? Did it used to be a nunnery or a castle? I assume it’s billion dollar condos now. Scary holiday lawn ornaments on the 1100 block. Italiano Restauranto is hiring, the only place with a help-wanted sign that I noticed. I wonder if they’re hiring wait or kitchen staff? Kitchen staff would be better, to learn the recipes. I’ll have to apply there this weekend.

I get to Union Station, redeem my ticket from the kiosk and get in line to exchange it for a closer destination, as I’m departing Quantico and not Fredericksburg. That $4 credit means a lot in this NuEcon. Plus I saved $1.25 by walking instead of taking the D6. I am a penny-saving fool. I only fear these Poverty Lurks will extend farther into the future than need be. As much as I enjoy beans & rice, I want to eat them when I want to and now when I have to.

Now, an hour after my train was supposed to leave, I’m still sitting at the station, waiting for the 85 Northeast Regional to get in from New York, which is now scheduled to get in at 8:35, almost two hours late. Sigh. I guess delays such as this is why SimCity was ported over to the iPhone, right? I hope Santa isn’t taking a train anywhere tonight because if he is it’s time to dust Rudolph out of the stables and get him in the air.

UPDATE: leaving 2 hours, 8 minutes late for a 50 minute train ride. I’m staying home next year.

I started working at Grafik in the summer of 1997. I had been freelancing at a (horrible) studio in Georgetown and the husband+wife that owned the studio were going on vaca and therefore their studio was basically shutting down for a week or two. I freelanced at Grafik during that downtime and was so impressed at the talent there. This was precisely the level of studio that I had been looking for during the previous two years and I jumped at the opportunity to work there.

During the first 3-1/2 years that I worked there, until I decided to leave, I worked with and became great friends with such a wonderful core group of people and it was definitely a fun collaborative effort and we all worked hard to produce great work. We traveled in a pack socially, taking out new employees for drinks and billiards and to industry events (”The Grafik crowd has arrived.”) It was one of the truly greatest periods in my life. I felt like I was accomplishing something wonderful and the icing on the cake was that I was achieving it with my friends.

I parted ways with the company after 3-1/2 years. Let’s say I didn’t agree with my supervisor and leave it at that. After I left I still maintained very close ties with those that were still at Grafik and established new friendships with those new Grafikers that started working there after I had left. I went to work at other studios and learned new things and made new friends.

In the summer of 2003 I received a call from Grafik asking me if I would be able to come back for a four-month contract. Work was slowing down at the studio I was at, and it seemed the perfect opportunity at just the right time.

I was ecstatic to be back working with the friends I had left and it was great to see everybody again. I was able to hit the ground running, already familiar with the studio’s policies and job flow. I set out on making myself a permanent resident and not just a freelancer. I brought in plants, had my Netflix delivered there and made sure I immersed myself so much within the studio culture that they would not be able to let me go when my four-month contract was up.

It worked. I was re-hired full-time and it was on. The love was a little short-lived although, due to some marriage infidelity and also to coworker/friends moving away to distant cities in 04 and 05. Kristin was the last of the old guard to be there, and she loved to the west coast in 06. It was only me left but that was okay, the work was still good and I still had many old and new friends there, but I feel I was definitely the last of our 90s brat pack.

It’s now 2008 and the country’s economy is in the toilet. Today I went to clear out my office. It took a few hours and I more than filled the trash cans/take home boxes that were left for me. I left small surprise tokens in friends’ offices. I took final views of the Potomac from our 7th floor conference room. I took pictures of the infamous coal pile next door and the DC horizon in the background. I added to our newly founded art wall. I left hidden gifts that no one will find for twenty years. I had a beer, just like I did with Joe B so many years ago after I had recently started. I mistakenly forgot to leave my “G” typeblock on the letter shelf in the reception area (I left this block out front when I left in 2000 yet quietly reclaimed it in 2003). I’ll have a friend sneak it back in there soon; that’s where it belongs.

I’m standing here at 2:31 in the you-know-what morning and I’m waiting for the last D6 of the evening to take me home.

Down the road, on Mass just west of Dupont, the lights are flashing and the sirens are going off: The Dick needs a haircut or a blowjob and therefore nothing else matters, much less my plight to make it home for a $1.25 bus fare versus $15.00 for a cab. Traffic will be re-routed and I will assume my position among the homeless, walking aimlessless but yet pointing myself towards home.

Yes, this what I am forced to deal with as an unemployed person. Thanks Georgie how the fuck did we ever get to this and could I please have some of the billions of gazillions of dollars you’ve spent on making yourself a more rich oil family?? I hope you and you personals die horrible deaths and finally, in your privileged lives, find out how the rest of us feel. You can burn in hell for all I care.

On top of everything I am forced to relocate myself to a bus stop which is in front of a previous boyfriend’s apartment, and could I not be more sickened?

Here it is: I was laid off on Tuesday. Technically Monday, but as I was still recooping from the weekend’s germ-fest I didn’t get the news until I went in Tuesday morning.

I was fearing this would be happening, but didn’t really think it would. But then it did. Five others were also laid off, cutting the studio staff by 20%. That’s a pretty big cut. I figured that if any of the production managers would be cut that it would be me, considering the year I’ve had.

So now what to do? I’ve been taking this week and sleeping in (except for today) and taking it easy. I’ve looked into (and when I say that, I mean I investigated some websites) receiving unemployment benefits and after advice from friends, signing up for food stamps. Which apparently are not really stamps anymore, but are issued in credit card form. I guess that will help alleviate some embarrassment at the checkout line but I’m sure the cashiers know. The unemployment place is on Rhode Island Ave in Brentwood and the food stamp place is at H St NW & North Capitol so that will be a fun day of running around on the bus system. But not today because it’s raining and cold and nasty out.

I’ll get my final paycheck at the end of the month, so that will at least pay rent thru January. I’ve already told friends that I’m not going to be going out for dinners or even one drink and I’m counting my quarters, dimes, nickels and pennies. Jeff took me out to dinner at Argonaut on Tuesday which was really thoughtful. And Goldy showed up on Wednesday with some groceries which I thought was really just the sweetest thing to do. She included pastas/sauces, soups, clementines, toiletries, even a bag of Funjuns. Now I’ve got to make sure I eat all my perishables first and stretch out what’s in my cupboard as long as I can.

I also have to quit my gym membership because that’s too expensive to hold on to while I’m pinching costs elsewhere.

I’ll go in this weekend to clear out my office, which has over eight years of personal and goofy stuff that has accumulated. I’ll need to clean off my hard drive too of mp3s and photos and other stuff; this will probably take longer than cleaning out my office.

I haven’t been outside since Wednesday evening. What’s going on out there in the world? Anything I should know about?

I woke up Thursday morning feeling congested and with a pinched nerve down the back of my right leg. Coughing spasms (which were becoming more and more frequent) would send bolts of pain down my entire leg so I tried to remain as still as possible but even rolling over in bed was a chore.

Friday I felt even worse, still with a pinched nerve but even more congestion, coughing and sneezing. With the nasty cold wet weather I couldn’t even muster energy to go outside for medications. Luckily I was scheduled for a Peapod delivery on Saturday so I hastily added $30 worth of flu, cough and cold meds to that order.

Saturday the pinched nerve had mostly subsided so at least I was able to have a sneezing fit without wincing in pain. Putting away the groceries exhausted me though; I chomped meds and collapsed in the couch.

Today I’m feeling better but still have some head congestion. I’m setting a 4-hour alarm to not forget my next dose so hopefully tomorrow I’ll feel back to normal, just in time to go back to work! Nothing says wasted vacation days like Thursday and Friday by spending them sick in bed.

List of tv/movie watching over the last four days: countless cooking shows, five episodes of The Office, the awesomely hot Ryan Bader win the light heavyweight UFC championship, The Fury, I Think I Do, The Empire Strikes Back, THX 1138, Die Mommy Die, Ed Wood. Number of parties not attended: four.

December has not really been my favorite month. Let me take that back. Sometimes it can be bittersweet but it’s never really fun. There’s too much gift-buying shopping anxiety, too many obnoxious commercials on the television, too much faux joyousness.

And there’s always The Birthday. I don’t think I’ve ever liked having been born during the holiday season. There’s always the question: “Does your birthday sometimes get overlooked because if the holidays?” to which my response is always “Duh.” It could be worse: Brandon’s birthday is on December 31, and you know he never gets any respect of privitization with that date.

So when your birthday falls on a Wednesday during holiday season, and you’re my age, it’s really not a big deal.

I was planning on getting some friends together for cocktails at a new swanky joint on Pennsylvania Ave SE. I had previously talked with the owner about having a drop-in from 7–10 and getting a couple of bucks off from drink prices for those invited. I followed up with an email and didn’t get a response. I went back there last week to check in again and it seemed all deals were off the table so that soured me on that proposition.

I tried to figure out other options but nothing was really coming to mind. Being late in the game to send out invites (although it still would have been a very casual evening) and getting an invitation from friends for a non-birthday related cocktail party on Thursday, I threw in the towel and decided to do nothing. Melba did coax me out though to one of our fave places, La Lomita, for some birthday tacos and margaritas. It was a low-key evening but one that was still very fun.

With the leftover ingredients from last weekend’s N.E.B. I have three quiches to make today. And some more potatoes. And some more bacon. I’m eating the last of the mini-bagels as I’m slightly dreading make them this huge brunch meal again, if only for the mess and dirty dishes it will produce. But I don’t want to waste the eggs and all the other ingredients that have taken over my refrigerator.

While I’m munching on my bagels and contemplating pouring a bloody mary (there’s that leftover too) I am face(booke)d with an offer from Patty to go out and have brunch. She’s practically saying that we’re going out and I have no say in the matter. Looking around at the quiche ingredients I’ve assembled on the counter I invite her over to 1526 to help me put a dent into the impending brunch extravaganza. I tell her we may need some champagne or vodka to make some brunch drinks and she says she’ll stop by the store and she’s on her way. Now I really have to get it in gear.

I recreate almost verbatim last week’s menu: veggie; sausage and green chile; three cheese. I don’t have any pics of them after cooking because we were so hungry but here they are still in liquid form before being put into the oven. So easy to make.

Let me say that Patty and I may or may not have ever met each other in person. We’re still trying to piece that together. We have a mutual friend, the self-described Funbags, and Patty and I have become Facebook Friends and since we’re both never more than 18-inches away from our phones there is a lot of Facebook status updating and commenting and all that it seems like we’re old friends now.

Patty, obviously distracted by shiny and/or pink things, arrives with a slew of liquid bevvies. The first that we tackled was Nuvo, which resembled a huge perfume bottle by J.Lo. Twas very pink, very girly and very sweet. It’s incredients are “ultra premium” vodka, sparkling wine, some peachy-nectar and extra carbonation. This bottle didn’t last very long.

Next was the 4-pack of Sofia Mini Blanc de Blanc from Francis Coppola. Again, cute, pink and sparkly, these reminded me of the ill-fated Tab Energy drinks from a few years ago. Small and compact, these didn’t last very long either.

Then we popped open the discoball-contained bottle of Absolut and tried to make an actual discoball out of it but apparently I don’t have enough pinpoint lighting. I’ll have to work on that. To complete our disco theme we launched Rhapsody (Patty has an account) and started playing DJ well into the evening.

All in all it was a fun, unexpected turn of events of the day’s planned laundry-a-thon. And I had someone to help enjoy at least some of all the food that was made.

(Sorry G—forgot to save before posting.)