My friend Shawn posted this to Facebook a while back and I had to go back and back and back in his posts to find it. Since it’s Saturday night, here it is. Apologies for the commercial before the clip.

UPDATE: The rerun SNL episode with NPH aired last night! Talk about timing.

Thankfully I’m awake at a respectable hour today: 9:00. After some coffee and a turkey sandwich, I don sunglasses and head out the door.

I’m iffy on my transport route today. In order to get to the 9:30 Club box office, I have a couple of different options. 1) take the 96/97 (informally known as the Racist Bus); 2) walk to Potomac Ave station and Metro it from there; or 3) walk.

I chose option 3, just because it will be something new to do. I’m a little apprehensive walking the entire duration of the direct Florida Ave (it diverts it’s traffic later than my destination, so the length of FloAve proper) because it runs through a couple of potentially sketchy neighborhoods, but since it’s daytime I think I can maneuver the course unscathed.

I’m headed to 9:30 so that I can purchase tickets without suffering the “convenience charge” that online services pile on. Plus, there’s really not that much else to do today.

+$4.75 / Presets convenience fee saved
+$6.00 / Ladytron convenience fee saved
+$0.10 / money found on sidewalk
-$1.25 / bus ticket home

+ $9.60 total saved

I present these three screenshots.

These originate from the iPhone game KERN, which is kinda fun to play. It’s a speed/timing game that possibly draws more on your eye+hand coordination than it does actual kerning letters but it’s still fun to play. And the game looks great too, obvy built with a designer’s eye.

There was a grammatical typo in the Rules page (1), for which the update was issued. The update (2) says “Fixes an errant apostrophe which caused a fair amount or (sic) typographical embarrassment for our designer. Please accept this upgrade as our apology.” First of all, don’t apologize for having a typo in a sentence where there is a typo. Second, back to the point: as you can see in (3), the apostrophe from “it’s” in line two has been removed to its correct spelling, “its”, after the update. But a typographical problem still remains. Can you spot it in (3)?

Right now I am on am Amtrak train (79 Carolinian) headed south to have supper at a Golden Corral. Yes, apparently some of the steakhouses from the 70s still exist. I’m going to Fredericksburg for the day to celebrate my paternal grandmother’s 90th birthday, which was actually on Thursday.

After a restless night of sleep, it was a bolt to make it to the train station (eight minutes to spare). Since I’m going to need caffeine jolts to keep me going, I decided to stop by Jacob’s on the way for some coffee. The people in line in front of me, I swear they were ordering milkshakes for breakfast. I could have sworn one of them said “scoop of vanilla ice cream”. Their total for three milkshakes coffees and a couple of muffins was $18.72. My large French Roast was $2.08.

I make it to the train with eight minutes to spare. Yikes, that one was close. The only double-seat available is on the sun-side of the car (I know these things). But luckily there’s no window, a structural element is there so hopefully I won’t be in the sun and won’t bake on the ride down.

//Message over train’s PA system: Do not stuff diapers into the toilets. This will render the restroom inoperable.//

A note about Golden Corral, for those of you who don’t remember or were brought in the time of casual dining (Bennigan’s). GC was where you’d take the family “out” for a dinner in the 70s. It’s a steak & baked potato for $3.99 kind of place. When vegetarianism spread outside of California, circa 1977, they added a salad bar. But back then everybody ate meat and they liked it. There was also a similar competitor, Ponderosa. Notice how both have cattle ranch-inspired cowboy themes? The waitress uniforms in the 70s undoubtedly consisted of embrodered denim skirts and red gingham shirts, complete with scarf and cowboy hat. And possibly a toy pistol.

Today’s GC is totally different. I was still expecting to order a t-bone or fillet steak, but it was one big buffet cafeteria with all different kinds of  foods. It was definitely grab-a-plate and go. Plate #1 was definitely head to the salad bar section to fill up on that first. Plate #2 was a small steak with traditional sides: mashed taters, carrots and mac & cheese. At least I stayed away from the onion rings and the fried shrimp.

There was a lot of family there, of all different ages and generations which was nice. After everyone ate we had cake & ice cream and took the requisite each generation with Mama Della pictures. One thing about Mama Della: she has always had the kids call her this, even the kids from the neighborhood. So even people who aren’t related to her know her and address her using this moniker. I’ve always thought that was kinda cool.

People are doing the simplest things for me, and it is so greatly appreciated. For example, last night after a grueling cardio class, I mentioned to Bernice that she could drop me at the Safeway on the way home (she had given me a ride to the gym) and then I’d walk home from there. I’m used to that walk three times a week, right? She pshawd that and she she’d wait in the parking lot or go fill up her gas tank while I was shopping. She also gave me a Hamilton to pick her up a 6-pack of Sam.

I do my shopping, come outside and load everything into her car. I give her the change (a dollar + coins) and she said to just keep it, then she gives me a Jackson and tells me to keep that. While getting a direct cash gift makes me a little uncomfortable, I tell her I will put the money towards establishing a margarita/quesadilla fund for the next time we make it to Banana Cafe after class, which we would do sometimes in the banner year of, say, 2008.

Then, as I’m running the groceries into my apartment I discover that Bernice has slyly snuck two of her beers into one of my bags. How nice is all of that?

Purchase: $25.97
EBT Card Balance: $63.84
Club Card Savings: $11.07 (30% of purchase)
M/Q Fund: $21.29

seven five seven
is not the rule here, you know
that’s not how it goes.

it’s the other way
five seven five is perfect
two examples here: 

friday means nothing
i sit here and type away
it’s something to do.

kindness from strangers
is not as kind as from friends,
i’m discovering.

now it is your turn
go ahead, it’s kind of fun
and makes you think, too.

Ooooh…I thought there wasn’t going to be a Cyclops cameo in the new Wolverine movie. Geek-gasm!

Oh good…Crazy is up next. This is what I’ve been waiting for. 

Oh jesus. 

Dang…she can sing. I hope everyone voting just remembers how friggin crazy she is…and PUNISHES her for it.

Sarah Palin “surprises” Greta VanSustren while she’s interviewing Bristol. For conservative repubs…i’ts “less than ideal”

Say what you will but the Martian Manhunter’s death in “Final Crisis” Requiem” is pretty powerful and moving.

I know I’ve written about this minor fact before, but know it’s hitting me with reality right now. It’s minor, no need to worry, no need to be upset.

Six years ago, when I accepted a new contract assignment with an old company, when I went to a newly reunited Duran Duran concert wearing the most makeup I had worn since 1985, when I put my much-historied VW out to pasture, when I was dating the Millionaire, I thought it in my best interest to redirect my Netflix delivery address to a different address.

I had just embarked on a new contract with Gee, where you probably already know was where I always was meant to be. I was determined to become a full-time employee again, and one of the things I purposefully did was to immerse myself back in to the company’s culture. It wasn’t difficult since I still pretty much knew everybody that worked there still. But I did take it to an extreme by fully decorating my office with plants, posters and mementos both current and reminiscent of my past tenure.

One of my infiltration secrets was to have my Neflix discs sent to my workplace, both to extablish rapport with the new admin staff and to give me reasons for circulating throughout the studio (checking for my discs in the mailroom).

Now, I’m finding myself running (not really) across Horseshoe Park at 2:45am just to get a disc put in tomorrow’s mailbox in order to get another one kicked back to me before the weekend. I’ll bet Netflix is making a killing in today’s “economic crisis” because it’s easier to rent instead of paying $15 for a seeing a movie in a theater.

Not having Internet access is really killing me.

First of all, it’s frakking boring as hell when you’re home all day, every day. Especially if you’re used to hopping online, checking news and blog sites, the general surfing around stuff that most of us do these days.

Secondly, it’s aggravating. When you’ve got bills to pay, or train tickets to buy, using dial-up on a phone that gets shoddy reception at best in my apartment is not the best way to navigate through a seven-page secure sign-on/purchase process.

Third, it’s frustrating. I am looking for jobs and filing my unemployment online weekly. Again, it’s possible to do this on my phone, but it would be very tedious. I also can’t email out my resume to anyone, as it is now isolated on my hard drive.

Verizon I supposed to be out today to figure out what is wrong with the modem. They have a ridiculous arrival window of 8am-7pm. That’s eleven hours long and can’t they narrow it down any closer than that? Imagine if you had that kind of leeway with your clients. Phone companies have such a scam going on.

And if they don’t come out today and fix it (something tells me they’re not going to, just my luck) then I’ll need to go to the public library or somewhere that I can use a computer to go online to at least do some job researching and file then file my weekly claim. Do public libraries still have free computers? Rephrase: Have DC public libraries ever even had free computers? Luckily I’m able to write this post as a local draft using WordPress’ mobile app and then post it all at the same time, instead of having to be online the entire time that I’m writing this.

So, if I did have proper Internet access I would be writing about such riveting things as this:

Yesterday I did a grocery store run mite out of necessity of getting outside of the apartment than anything else. I don’t think I’d been outside since Friday. It turned out to be a convenience run more than any kind of investigating what else was on sale: milk, deli turkey, cheese, bread, eggs, etc.

Purchase: $31.14
EBT Card Balance: $89.81
Club Card Savings: $9.77 (24% of purchase)

Update: Interwebs is back online! (Heavy sigh of comfort.)

All of my leftovers in the fridge are finished, so it’s time to get something else on top of the stove. Today is soup day.

I went to the grocery store this morning, mainly because I needed coffee. (Chock Full O’ Nuts 39 oz can on sale, $6.99.) Even though I already had everything to make chicken soup I also picked up ingredients to make a creamy tomato soup. This will be an experiment. If the tomato soup fails, I also picked up some cheese slices to make accompanying grilled cheeses and that should make things all better, as only a grilled cheese sandwich can.

The chicken soup is pretty easy: chopped garlic, celery, carrots & onions, chicken (breast & thighs), thyme, cumin, s&p and I think that’s it. While I’m chopping I’m telling the television viewing audience inside my head “Be sure to chop your carrots and celery evenly, about ¼-inch thick. Try not to chop your already chopped pieces so that you have perfect circles of carrots and crescents of celery.”

I may be adding too much chicken: two breasts and three or four thighs. I guess a chicken soup with too much chicken isn’t that bad, right? I think I overloaded the veggies too so maybe I should split this into two pots and dilute. I’ll see how far down it cooks.

After the commercial break I tell the audience “After your vegetables have softened in the olive oil, add your chicken and water, two inches above the chicken. Make sure you add cold water and not warm. Here’s a tip. Before prepping your vegetables, take an empty pitcher, fill it with water and put it in the refrigerator. By the time you’re ready to add it, it will be nice and chilly.”

I will let this cook for a couple of hours before I start the Creamy Tomato Experiment. I want to use a small amount of the stock from the chicken. “Never boil your liquid while the chicken is cooking, it will only make your soup cloudy. Instead, use a medium heat to slowly simmer the process.”

Two hours later I’ve removed the chicken pieces (still leaving the heat on the pot) and let them cool. Chop or shred (they’ll be pretty pliable now) into spoon-size pieces and return to the pot. I think I’m going to add some noddles to this! I have a box of gemelli that would be perfect. But first I’ll ladle out enough to start a base of the CTE.

Then, staring directly into the camera, I would say something chefy like “I’m going to start with a similar base for the tomato soup that I did for the chicken soup. But instead of wanting large uniform chunks, I’m getting to finely chop my onion and celery. While I want the flavor in there, I don’t want the texture.” I would demonstrate this by contorting one of my hands in an Oprah-like claw while emphasizing the word texture.

CTE: onions and celery and garlic until “sweating” and turning mealy. Skim enough chicken broth from the soup (or stock) to cover the mushy meal and continue to boil. Then I put in three large cans of crushed tomatoes, s&p, and let that heat back up to a boil. Then it’s adding cream and I’m done! Roll credits.

Purchase: $24.32
EBT Card Balance: $120.95
Club Card Savings: $9.55 (28% of purchase)