I was trying to pick a CD to take with me for driving to Charlene’s services yesterday, and I stumbled upon Journey’s Escape, purchased with my first year roommate at UofH, when we both joined one of those music clubs to get 11 CDs for a penny. I thought Journey would be a good pick for the era that Char and I were good friends; we graduated in 1982.

I was surprised (and only a little embarrassed) to discover I knew practically all the words to every song, even the ones that weren’t radio hits. The biggest mistake was when I pulled into the funeral home’s parking lot Open Arms was playing and I was a big blubbering mess.

After the service (and decompressing at home) I went to dinner with Goldy and since she had missed her bus I told her I would take her out to Herndon where she can pick up her car from the commuter lot. Driving back into town around 11:30, with Thomas Dolby and Depeche Mode’s Speak and Spell blaring from the speakers I had an odd sense of déja vu. Twenty or twenty-five years ago I was taking the exact same route, probably at the exact same time on a Friday night, to go downtown and party. Destinations at the time would have been Winston’s or Poseurs in Georgetown, Lost & Found or maybe Badlands in Dupont. A-ha, Hall & Oates or Arcadia would most definitely have been blaring from the “tapedeck” at that time. Or maybe Styx or Journey.

After passing through the toll plaza I see the cars exit that are heading north and south on the Beltway but I and several other cars keep going, taking the most direct route into town. I wonder if they’re coming into town to do what I was doing years ago. Possibly.

Today I’ll head back out to Annapolis for Charlene’s former funeral service. I’ll bring the Escape CD with me again but I’m really wishing I had Paradise Theater or something by Heart or Pat Benatar. Wait, I’ve got it: Go-Go’s Beauty and the Beat!

Charlene’s obituary has been posted on WaPo. The link is here. I don’t know how long they keep these listings up before archiving, so here is the text:

CHARLENE FAYE POLEN On Saturday, April 18, 2009. The beloved wife of Paul R. Polen; mother of Samantha Leigh and Olivia Grace Kimble; daughter of Donna Pogue and the late Charles Pogue; sister of Michael Pogue and Diana Perkins. Friends are invited to Charlene”s Life Celebration at the GEORGE P. KALAS FUNERAL HOME, 2973 Solomons Island Rd., Edgewater, MD on Friday from 2 to 4 and 6 to 8 p.m. where services will be held on Saturday, April 25 at 4 p.m. Interment private. In lieu of flowers contributions may be made to the SPCA of Anne Arundel Co., P.O. Box 3471, Annapolis, MD 21403. 

A virtual guest book has been established by Kalas Funeral Home and if you would care to leave a comment you may do so here.

UPDATE: Additional photos of Char can be found here.

As a continuation of Sunday’s post…

My good friend from high school, Charlene, did indeed pass away Friday. Suicide.

How far does one have to go down a path to commit suicide? Do you get to a point of no return and is that point unrecognizable to those around you?

I’ve spent this week communicating with, or trying to track down, high school friends. Some are on Facebook, some I have phone & email contact, others I’m desperately googling to find an access point.

Those whom I have gotten in touch with, I’ve told what I know of Char’s story on the phone or through email. The phone conversations are actually best, partly because these are folks that are/were actual friends and it’s easier to have a back-and-forth conversation, but also because I don’t have to sit there and write a long letter to the others who are responding to remote emails. Still, I’ve been writing them and once they respond back, let them know the details. At first I felt odd about revealing too much, too many sordid details, but then this isn’t my story to be told and these are the facts that I’ve been left with. So I’ve given them all the information that I know.

Now I’m coordinating for the services this weekend. There are two viewings on Friday, one from 2–4 and another from 6–8. This must be hell for the family to have two viewings. I remember my mother’s viewing and it’s a weird thing to do, to actually have an open casket. I remembered the role I played there, of strongman, holding up my Dad and welcoming guests & friends, thankful for each person that showed up. Char’s funeral services (as well as the viewings) will be held Saturday at 4:00 at George P Kalas Funeral Home just outside of Annapolis.

Ironically, a previously-planned PVHS 1982 mini-reunion was and is being held this Friday evening. While I hadn’t planned on attending, now I feel compelled for camaraderie with my peers from 25 years ago. I plan on attending the 2:00 viewing and I guess I could came back into town, keep going, to the other side of the ‘burbs and go to the mini-reu. Maybe it’s what I’ll need in between the services.

RIP, Charlene Polen 1964–2009
aka Charlene Kimble, née Charlene Pogue

UPDATE: Char’s obituary can be found here.

We all slept in this morning, although I was up the latest again. That’s fine though; I’m the guest here.

After an omelette breffus made of yesterday’s fajitas leftovers it’s time for car washing. I’m just an observer to this process of scrubbing and hosing. I’m there for the comic relief. And to squish my feet into the green lawn.

I’ve also learned (through Facebook, of all things) that a close high school friend of mine passed away on Friday. I’m reading updates from her daughter which are pretty much pointing to that inevitability. Her daughter’s phone number is there on her info page and I’ll call her when I get home.

Wake up time (for me) is 10:00. I laid in bed last night until 2:30, at which point I decided to take a sleeping pill. I need to start taking these earlier, but I’m trying to not use them every night.

I heard the television on earlier this morn but now it’s been turned off. I guess Eddy & Bass have moved outside to start mowing grass and washing cars?

While the boys were out front mowing and trimming, I decided to get started on dinner. I’ve marinated our flank steaks in garlic and beer, getting them ready for grilling. I’ve chopped and made fresh pico de gallo, and that is now covered and in the fridge. Eddy’s making egg salad & ham sandwiches for lunch and Bass has set out two pitchers of sun tea.

Bam, some tv time later and it’s already dinnertime! Eddy cooked at the grill: fajitas, green peppers and onions, tomatoes. I stayed inside and tended the rice and beans.

After dinner, amidst the Star Wars & LOTR marathons, we managed to pop in the Milk DVD and (finally) get to see that wonderful movie. Turns out Bass & Eddy hadn’t seen it either so we all got to see it for the first time together.

Of course after the movie we all needed a cocktail of sorts and that’s when the vodka was broken out. We started having a couple of drinks, watched SNL and mellowed into the evening.

Bass sleep time: 12:30; Eddy sleep time: 1:10; me 2:00.

My underemployed friend Eddy was over on Wednesday having dinner, watching cable tv and having a cocktail. He mentioned that he was going to visit his boyfriend at the Country Estate and asked if I would like to tag along. I thought about it for three minutes or so and since I haven’t been out of DC since February I thought it was good to accept his offer.

Since we *have* to be in front of a television at 2:00 to watch Ellen, I’m running around this morning trying to get some things done: laundry, packing, filing weekly claim, synching iPhone (BSG series finale, in case I can’t sleep), baking some chicken that I defrosted but hadn’t cooked yet. You know, mundane domestic things.

Fast forward: we’re at Bass’ house now, after a stop off at Jerry’s Subs for lunch—we apparently made the day of Becky, out bored yet giggly counter girl. Kosmo Kitty has immediately taken a like to me, sitting next to me while I ate, and now lounging with me on the couch as we watch tv.

We make a run to the grocery store to get goodies for dindin. Eddy’s thinking of marinated baked chicken for tonight and I decide I’ll pay for the fajitas I’ve picked for tomorrow night. Including fixin”s for pico de gallo, EBT card purchase: $16.66; remaining balance $81.91.

Instead of watching Oprah’s we sit in the driveway on folding chairs and enjoy the weather. Across the street are kids running around and playing on bikes and we both long for that innocence again, and the lack of sense of time passing. Nemo, Bass’ outdoor cat, saunters up for some food and bellyrubs. He’s having a lazy day, too.

Dinner: herb & garlic marinated chicken breasts w/ whole clove garlic, seasoned bread with olive oil and garden salad with squash & green peppers and thousand island dressing.

The rest of the evening consisted of lounging around on the couches watching DVRed television, which was fine by me. Eddy was knitting, I was petting Kosmo Kitty and Bass was munching on Cheerios. By the way, Bass has the absolute largest television I have ever seen. It feels like a Willy Wonka television that people are going to walk right out of and join you in the living room.

Bass went to bed at 11, Eddy at 11:30 and now it’s midnight and I’m turning in (hopefully I’ll fall asleep easily). I think Bass is going to put us to work in the yard tomorrow.

I’m taking a rest from the chopping, boiling, mixing… let me ‘splain and backup. Eddy (who is also recently underemployed) and I have recently been sharing our unemployed afternoons. We watch Ellen, Family Feud and Oprah. We sometimes go to museums. We sometimes have cocktails. To us, everyday is Tuesday and the world is our oyster. Just like one night in Bangkok.

During one of these afternoons, Eddy mentioned the new Amy Poehler show Parks & Recreation and how excited he was for the premiere. Since these television afternoons have been spent at Eddy’s, I invited him over for dinner and to watch the premiere, which is tonight.

While I do enjoy cooking, I don’t really have a big repertoire. I immediately went to my old favorite: homemade red sauce. I thought of doing eggplant parmesan, which I haven’t made in a long time. But then Eddy doesn’t do dairy so that was out of the question. Then I decided to go with the P & R show theme and do picnic food. And I thought the spaghetti w/ meatballs was pedestrian!

I planned out what I was going to make: hamburgers, hot dogs (actually sausages), potato salad, corn on the cob, a salad and popsicles for dessert. And even though it was a beautiful day to walk to the store, I thought this might be a lot of groceries so I used up some of my Zipcar credit and rented the li’l station wagon next door.

First stop was Eastern Market. Instead of regular hot dogs I thought it would be nice to do some sausages w/ peppers and a pickle slice, ala Chicago-style. I went to Canales, knowing they would have the best selection. I chose one chicken & turkey with artichoke and roasted garlic and one turkey & chicken with wild mushrooms and cognac. Eddy can decide which one he wants and I’ll take the other. On top of this I will put red, orange & yellow pepper slices, some celery salt and a pickle spear.

At the grocery store, since I had the car, I decided to do a little extra shopping and stock up on items that were either on sale, that I’d need soon or were too large to carry comfortably home while walking (24-pack of bottle water).

I caved on my secret favorite (frozen pizzas: 4) but also picked up things like coffee that was on sale, condiments I’m sure I’ll use in the future and large boxes of cereal.

I’m making a basic potato salad, nothing fancy there. I’ve never made potato salad before and I’m already afraid that it’s going to turn into mashed potato salad. All mushy. We’ll see. For the burgers, I’m using 1 lb beef, 1 lb North Carolina hot sausage (that I picked up at Canales) and adding to that chopped purple onion, red orange & yellow peppers, s&p, adobe seasoning. I’m going to take ½ of this and save it for meatballs later this weekend. The other half I’ll use to make the burgers, probably divided into thirds.

Purchase: $117.67 
EBT Card Balance: $98.57
Club Card Savings: $24.06 (17% of purchase)

Today, because there was nothing better to do, I went for a walk. The weather was nice too and I needed to get outside. I didn’t have a destination nor time frame in mind, but I headed west.

I got to Stanton Park and admired the cherry trees sans tourists as I walked through. When I made it to Union Station I decided to continue by going downtown, but definitely stayed clear of anywhere near The Mall. I decided upon K St, whose length I had never fully walked, east of Mt. Vernon Square. I made it through downtown, past all the parks and GW students, and I thought I’d go onto Georgetown.

After walking the Georgetown towpath (where I witnessed two horses still faithfully pulling a barge of camera-toting tourists) I surfaced at Key Bridge, where I long ago enjoyed the small park there. I passed where Poseurs used to be and also The Exorcist stairs. I kept going.

I walked along the parkway that leads the entrance to Georgetown U, and wondered if the three kids danging their legs from the stone sign would be throwing rocks at me as I walked by. They were yelling something, not necessarily to me directly, but I guess I’m at that age where at times I distrust privileged teenage boys.

At this time I figured I may as well trek on up to Sibley Hospital, the west origin/termination of the D6 line that goes right by where I live, and I could take the bus back for practically its entire route. It was only three more miles to go so I figured it was worth the effort.

As I traveled further the city moved from urbanity to reservoir to monied homes. I passed by Listrani’s, the pizza joint I as introduced to by James S many years ago, and I really wanted to stop in there and grab a pie, but this wasn’t the reason for my journey. I continued on and, almost reaching the Maryland border, I finally reached Sibley.

Luckily the bus was scheduled to arrive in ten minutes for its return voyage back down into the city I had just journeyed through.

Overall I tagged my walking experience and it ended being almost 10 miles. Not bad for a Saturday walk, right? My Internet is down here at the 1526 so I can’t give any maps. The locals will realize this distance. For those of you in Space City, NYC and LA I’ll post a relatable Point A to Point B reference once the tubes are back online.