First blog post of ’09. Whatevs.

Today I will be doing my best James Evans impersonation as I apply for government assistance and food stamps, just as soon as I polish off this pot of coffee. Coffee is a luxurious commodity that cannot be wasted.

I have use of Goldy’s car today (kthxbai!!1!) and that would make it a lot easier to get to The Man’s office on Rhode Island Ave, but the food stamp office is on North Cap. There’s ample parking on RI but not at NC. So I think I’m going to take the bus/train so that I can get all of this completed in one day.

I think I hear the bus go by (early) and run outside to check but it’s only a large truck. Looking the other way, the bus is two blocks away (early) so I scramble to grab everything and run outside. I hadn’t set my umbrella out, so I’m hoping the rain was only in the morning and will hold off this afternoon. I did manage to make a PB+J to take with me though. I think it’s going to be a long day.

Since I live and pay taxes in DC yet worked in the H8ST8, the DC online filing page said I would need to come into their 1500 Franklin St NE location to file my claim, hence today’s excursion into the wet and cold. When I get there, it turns out that I need to file in the H8ST8. Could DC have put a link on their page for residents who work in MD or VA?? DC Governent Web 1.0: FAIL. So now I can go home and file online, now that I have the VA web address. Oh DC, why do you make it so difficult?

Yet walking up Rhode Island Ave, I did pass the former Salvation Army where 12 years ago I purchased a blue & green lamp that went perfectly with the blue & green split couch I had at the time. The SalArm is now Gussini Fashion & Shoes.

Now it’s on to DHS, where (I’ve been told) you have to apply in person for food assistance. It’s right before lunchtime so there will be fewer clerks doing their duties, so this oughta be fun.

DHS: 60 minutes and counting…
DHS: 120 minutes and counting…

The book that I brought to read is Less Than Zero, a paperback edition I purchased in 1986. In it are two bookmarkers. The first is a ticket stub from General Cinema, ticket price is $3.75. The second is a Houston bus transfer from May 20, 1992. Punches in the transfer show I was headed east on the 42 line, probably headed to school.

After waiting 10 minutes shy of three hours, I’m finally called to speak with my case worker (I have a case worker!). Mr. Davis asked questions, made copies of papers and entered a lot of information into his locked-to-the-desk-with-a-cable Dell computer. He even signed me up for Medicaid. I’m totally living off the state now. I think it’s time to start listening to some early 80s British ska music.

I didn’t bring my work termination letter because the unemployment people said I wouldn’t need it, but apparently DHS does. I need to go back down there at some point this month and turn that in for next month’s check. But I can go tomorrow (to a smaller, less crowded gubmint location) and pick up my food stamps card. $148 per month. Pretty generous, huh?

I haven’t been outside since Wednesday evening. What’s going on out there in the world? Anything I should know about?

I woke up Thursday morning feeling congested and with a pinched nerve down the back of my right leg. Coughing spasms (which were becoming more and more frequent) would send bolts of pain down my entire leg so I tried to remain as still as possible but even rolling over in bed was a chore.

Friday I felt even worse, still with a pinched nerve but even more congestion, coughing and sneezing. With the nasty cold wet weather I couldn’t even muster energy to go outside for medications. Luckily I was scheduled for a Peapod delivery on Saturday so I hastily added $30 worth of flu, cough and cold meds to that order.

Saturday the pinched nerve had mostly subsided so at least I was able to have a sneezing fit without wincing in pain. Putting away the groceries exhausted me though; I chomped meds and collapsed in the couch.

Today I’m feeling better but still have some head congestion. I’m setting a 4-hour alarm to not forget my next dose so hopefully tomorrow I’ll feel back to normal, just in time to go back to work! Nothing says wasted vacation days like Thursday and Friday by spending them sick in bed.

List of tv/movie watching over the last four days: countless cooking shows, five episodes of The Office, the awesomely hot Ryan Bader win the light heavyweight UFC championship, The Fury, I Think I Do, The Empire Strikes Back, THX 1138, Die Mommy Die, Ed Wood. Number of parties not attended: four.

There’s only two weeks to go in this seemingly endless campaign that has been going on. Regardless of the outcome we will be able to wipe the slate clean, and start rebuilding our divisive animosity and disdain for one another anew.

If the Democrats win, the Republicans will continue to mask their bigotry and lies behind Fear Of A Black Planet, while Democrats, and probably the rest of global civilization, will go down in a fiery demise after McCain dies in office and Sarah Palin starts shooking nukes out of helicopters across her backyard toward Russia. Live out your own apocalypse.

It’s a lose/lose situation.

I wish my family shared the same political and social beliefs I have. I’m the one that defected from them though, so they aren’t really the ones to blame. I’m the traitor in this situation.

It would be easier, however, if we saw eye-to-eye on any one thing. The fact that we don’t puts up communication barriers to most things with the exception of light banter. I always know it’s time to end the phone conversation with the weather is brought up. In a familial gathering, I usually sit quietly, waiting for their bigotry talk to end or the departure time for my train, whichever comes first. I’ll let you speculate as to the outcome of who wins that grudge match.

We don’t discuss politics in my family, or at least we never used to. Maybe I wasn’t around during campaigns for those college + years while I lived in Texas and therefore didn’t hear them. But then Fox News didn’t exist then either, drilling it into their thinking during every waking moment.

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I’ve been burning my Netflix DVD movies and then watching them at a later date, just so I can make the turnaround time to get those DVDs back. I’ve racked up about 15 movies yet to watch so it may be time to slow things down a bit and get a television series. I’ve found these don’t cycle-thru as quickly, as there’s usually 4–5 hours of watching per disc. Previously I’ve churned through Six Feet Under, Space: 1999, Queer As Folk, Mary Tyler Moore, U.F.O., Ab Fab and Little Britain to name a few.

Which of the following shows in my queue should I watch with a vengeance next? I’ll leave this open for a week, and then whichever has the most votes I’ll push up to the top. Please vote only once.

For the past few weekends, my sleep patterns have not been normal. I don’t know if I should be concerned about this or not.

In my younger years I was always the one that slept until noon on weekends, but now regardless of what time I go to sleep the night before, it seems I’m awake at 7 or 8. It sucks. Sometimes I can fall back asleep and doze for a bit, sometimes not.

Last week, similar to yesterday, I could not stay awake after 6pm on Saturday. This entails falling asleep on the couch watching tv and then waking up around 11 or midnight, and then not able to fall asleep until 4 or 5 in the morning, on early Sunday. Yet again a short sleep and then I’m up again by 10. It’s wreaking havoc on my weekends; it doesn’t seem like I’m getting anything accomplished.

While I don’t watch much television as it’s actually being broadcast, I was anticipating the pilot of the Australian-import Kath & Kim. Starring Molly Shannon and Selma Blair respectively in the title roles, it seemingly has everything it needs for zany, kooky, madcap, Ab Fab-esque scenarios.

The premise goes something like this: Kath is the newly divorced mother of Kim and trying to “get out there again” when Kim’s relationship fails and she rebounds home. There’s lots of tacky clothes and general nutball-ism with a smidge of out-of-touchedness thrown in for good measure. It’s assumed that Kath and Kim will cramp each other’s style and generally not see eye-to-eye but will always have each other’s back before the ending credits roll.

iTunes has been offering a free download of tonight’s pilot (in Standard HD). I’m assuming they will be offering a Season Pass as well, but that hasn’t been posted. I watched my downloaded preview last night.

It was nice to see Shannon not reprising a crazy SNL character for a change. I’m glad Blair gets to step up to the plate in a leading role after playing supporting roles for such a long time.

But the problem is that it’s just not funny. You can see where the abrupt airheaded observations are meant to be funny, but it’s just not. I don’t know if it’s the timing or the direction but it’s a little disappointing. Maybe it’s one of those shows that takes a few episodes to hit its stride? I’m hoping so.

America’s Next Top Model is bringing the fierceness for Cycle 11 on its premiere September 3rd. Isis, a contestant from local Prince Georges County (MD), is “a woman born physically male”, US Weekly reports. In what is sure to be a shocker to some of the other contestants (as well as viewers), GLAAD president Neil Giuliano describes Isis’ participation in the show as “an unprecedented opportunity for a community that is underrepresented on television. We applaud Tyra Banks and The CW for making this historic visibility of transgender people possible.”

Isis’ promo page can be found here. Her portfolio modeling shots will expand as we get closer to premiere date and move through the season.

I wish I could take credit for that stolen headline that I paraphrased but I really can’t. There’s a game you can play by matching the abs to the Olympic swimmer and it’s actually on the official NBC Olympics 2008 site. For example, do you know whose torso this is? Hint: This Frenchman stormed onto the swimming scene by breaking three world records at the 2008 European Championships.

Give up? The answer and more can be found here. And for those of you who prefer Phelps with the Fu Manchu, there’s also a Phelps Fu gallery.

U! S! A!

• sleep in
• complete Easy setting of Space Case level in Super Monkey Ball
• read blogs
• download latest Mad Men ep
• repair bike on sidewalk off of Lincoln Park
• turn around and go home, look for tools to repair bike
• have lunch outside at Good Stuff Eatery
• take bike to Capitol Hill Bikes to let the pros do their thing
• ride bike on CapHill streets I’d never been on before
• watch cooking shows for two hours
• place Peapod order